How To Break A soul Tie With An Affair partner

When the two become one, the truth about soul ties

"I go to sleep, and you are there. I wake up, and you are there. Thoughts of you have consumed me. I can't stop replaying our time together... our first text, our first kiss, our first night together, and our last text. It all just recycles through my mind. I want to call you, but I shouldn't. With every text I receive, I secretly wish it was you. I have to stop this obsessive thinking, but I don't want to. I'm entangled in the memories, my desires, my fantasies. Why can't I break free? My head is spinning. How do I escape what brings me so much comfort?"

How do I break a soul tie?

Many of us have experienced these emotional ups and downs, confusion, and the feeling of being tied to our affair partner forever. With every intrusive thought I had about the affair, I became more determined to break free from what felt like an addiction.

I never really gave much thought to soul ties until I heard a pastor speak on this topic. He immediately caught my attention, especially when he began to describe how I felt even though the affair was over.

What is a Soul Tie

I want to give you the backstory of how and why a soul tie was created.

Haven't you read in the bible that the creator originally made them male and female? And because of this, a man leaves his father and mother and is firmly bonded to his wife, becoming one flesh----- no longer two bodies but one. Because God created this organic union of the two sexes, no one should desecrate his art by cutting them apart. Matthew 19:4-6

From reading this verse, it seems to me that God created the soul tie, but why would he do that? I'm glad you asked. God's intention for a soul tie was to glue a man and his wife together forever, only separated by death. This is an emotional connection that glues two souls together. God wanted to ensure that we would remain connected through life's hard times.

Now because this bond occurs in the soul realm, it keeps us connected even if the relationship ends. A soul tie with our husband is a good thing because we become deeply attached. Still, when we bond outside of marriage, we are experiencing the same gluing together but with another person, And to truly break free, we must be cut apart, and I don't know about you, but the cutting part does sound painful.

The tie that binds

Having sex entangles us psychologically, hormonally, and neurologically. The more we have sex, the more intense the bond becomes. Now give me a minute as we have a science discussion. I believe the understanding we have, the better able we are to work with our bodies instead of against them.

Endorphins, oxytocin, and vasopressin are bonding chemicals. And when released, they cause us to bond to the person who is pleasing us. Speaking of endorphins, I am talking about the chemicals dopamine and serotonin, our "happy chemicals." Dopamine is our reward hormone. So when we began flirting and texting our potential affair partner, this hormone tells our brain, this is exciting. And then we began to seek out this excitement. When we have sex, this chemical gives us the desire to have sex over and over again.

God created our bodies to function this way as our reward to experience during the marriage. But here is the thing this chemical does not know if we are married. So it will work outside of marriage. When I stepped outside of my marriage, my reward system went to work. And I created a soul tie with my affair partner. this is why it was so hard for me to break free from him. My body was doing what it was created to do, so separation in the soulish realm needed to occur. That means my mind, will, and emotions had to tear away from him.

Another chemical that comes into play is oxytocin; it's called our bonding hormone. It allows us to bond with significant people in our lives. When we feel close to someone, this hormone is to blame. When we cuddle and have pillow talk, oxytocin is flooding our bodies, and we become more attached to the person we are with. For men, this hormone is at its highest between the hours of 8 and 10 pm.

What makes these hormones so interesting is that the bond works the same, whether it be a one time encounter or a lifetime commitment. The hormone also crystallizes memories into our minds making it difficult for us to forget that person.

Our brain begins to create new pathways that become stronger as we continue to bond with our affair partner. So when we are down or need a pick me up, our minds automatically go to our affair partner.

The more we chase that high feeling with the process of bond- then- break bond- and break, over time this will cause us to become numb, making it harder to bond and feel connected with our husband. We began to lose our stickiness or our ability to bond.

How to break free from a soul tie

Change the reward

We must stop doing the things that reward our system. We continue to reward ourselves by looking at our affair partner's pics, stalking social media, and rereading the old text. Thoughts of seeing them again. Playing out scenarios in our minds. All these things can cause us to become excited, and when we become excited, we are causing the bond to our affair partner to become stronger. And the desire to be with our affair partner to become more intense.

We need to begin to create new exciting pathways with our husbands. We can do this by doing something new and fun together. Having more fun sex. Having deep conversations and cuddling on the sofa. Plan a date night, and get excited about it.

Break word vows

Second, we must speak against the word vows we made to ourselves. When we speak word vows over our lives, we are making solemn promises to ourselves. And these promises sink deep in our hearts. For example, if we tell ourselves, " I will always love him," then we begin to believe that we will always love our affair partner. This thought will prevent us from loving our husbands at 100%.

Because our minds and heart remember that we told ourselves we will always love our affair partner. And we live out what we believe. So we need to speak against what we said about our affair partner. We do that by saying, I do love you, but I will not love you forever. That is one way we can break a soul tie.

Hidden-beliefs

Third, we must discover what our hidden beliefs are. By that, I mean what purpose is the affair partner still serving in your life? We hold onto the attachment because it is giving us something. You don't direct your beliefs; your beliefs direct you.

Question to ask

Ask yourself why do I keep rereading old text messages or

why do I continue to stare at his Facebook profile picture?

What emotion is being fed by doing these things?

Is it a sense of longing?

Do you believe that they are the only ones who can truly satisfy you?

Are you willing to change this belief?

Is this is your truth? Are you willing to find just as much, if not more, enjoyment in your husband?

I know my hidden belief was that my affair partner did not judge me, he accepted me for who I was, and he let me be me. I felt like my husband judged me, and I had to be a certain way for him to accept me. And when I felt like I was being forced to be someone I was not, I would go back and read old text messages, or I would look at a picture of my affair partner and remember that someone did accept me for me. It was a comfort to me.

But what I discovered was that I was living out of a deep sense of insecurity and rejection. God showed me how much he loved me. And that even if no one else accepted me, he would be enough. An I would not have to run here and there searching for acceptance, betraying myself, my husband, and God with infidelity. I changed what I was believing, and that, in turn, changed my emotions and actions.

Every person has their own hidden beliefs that keep them attached to their affair partner. But a belief can be changed.

I also discovered that my husband was not perfect, and I needed to find contentment within myself during our challenges. This is where having a relationship with Jesus has changed my life. For me, I needed stability, someone who never changed. And that is who the Lord is. God never changes. When things get bad, I would run to him and change me or fix the problem. I no longer rely on myself or others to make me happy or keep me entertained.

In conclusion

The next time you find yourself reliving the affair or stalking social media, stop and ask yourself why am I doing this and be honest. Then replace that hidden belief with some truth. Began to attack those emotions that drive you to your affair partner by changing what you are believing. Remember, a soul tie is in the emotional realm, so to break it, we must change our mind, will, and emotions.

Our mind---what am I thinking about? What am I giving my attention to? Why do I think about him?

Our will----- what do I want to do? Do I want to look at social media, do I want to keep every text or email he has ever sent? Do I want to live the rest of my life attached to my affair partner? If so, how would this behavior benefit my family and me?

Our emotions- Are you afraid you will forget what he said and what comforts you will suddenly be completely gone. And you won't have anywhere to run to for reassurance that what the two of you had was real and that you are desirable and wanted. Why do I enjoy keeping him close in my heart?

Soul ties reach deep within the heart, and that is where we must go to cut the ties that bind us.

Do you need more help

If you need more help in learning how to break a soul tie or help to end and moving forward from your affair, I would love to help you recover and become emotionally stable and content with your life.

You can schedule a free call with me.

I also have a FREE 5 DAY EMAIL COURSE ON HOW TO SURVIVE AFFA